Week Three – Day 3 – Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Read Proverbs 12:4; 21:19; 14:1 SOAP Proverbs 14:1
PROVERBS 12:4 4 A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.
A virtuous and excellent wife [worthy of honor] is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him [with her foolishness] is like rottenness in his bones. (AMP)
PROVERBS 21:19 19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
It is better to dwell in a desert land than with a contentious and troublesome woman. (AMP)
PROVERBS 14:1 1 The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.
The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles]. (AMP)
O – What contrasts today! We’ve been reading about how our relationships affect us – but WE also affect others! Turn around and look at self today….
The wise woman – is worthy, a crown for her husband, builds her hour
The foolish woman – disgraces her husband, is like rottenness in his bones (weakens him), causes him shame, lowers his standing in the community (now it goes one to affect others outside the family!)
The quarrelsome woman – her husband would be better off living in the dry, arid desert; gives the idea of someone who “flies off the handle” with anger and bitter words; easily provoked
The foolish woman – tears (destroys) her own household – from Strong’s – to tear down, break down, overthrow, beat down, break, break through, destroy, pluck down, pull down, throw down, ruined, destroyer, utterly – what she does to her own household!!
A – What an effect we have on others! As I read through these lists, and looked at the effects of both the wise and the foolish woman, I see how we as woman set the tone in our households. We are there. Our influence not only affects our immediate family, but it goes on to affect relationships with others – from within. Whoever we live with will also live with the results of WHO WE ARE….
What kind of woman do I want to be known as, to be lived with? Do I bring honor or shame? Do I bring peace or contentiousness? Do I build up – or tear down my household?
Marrying again, later in life, I have a lifetime of thinking through some of these things. I do realize, however, I was thinking more of what kind of man was important in my life. BUT – it is so much more important that I BE the kind of woman who will bring honor and glory to my household. That I will not bring shame. That I not be argumentative. That I bring peace.
How does a woman build up her house? By being a woman of the Word – being in the Word, letting it permeate her heart, and flow through her attitude, actions, and words. By being a woman who brings peace to those around her. By building up her husband and family members, not tearing them down, by taking opportunities to speak positively about them. By not being argumentative, but soft-spoken and wise. By learning WHEN to speak, HOW to speak, and WHAT to speak that will bring healing and peace. By learning how to encourage.
How does a woman tear down her house? By talking about private matters with others. By speaking in negative terms about her husband and family members. By complaining. By being argumentative. By simply not caring. By being selfish.
It is my choice. WHO DO I WANT TO BE?
P – Father God, help me to be the woman that YOU want me to be. I desire to be a woman who brings honor to my household, to my family, to my husband. I want to support him in his work, in his studies, in his person. Help me to be an encourager and supporter. Give me words to build him up. May my life be one that not only glories You, but brings honor to him. Help me build up my household – in You. Amen.
4. What are some ways that a woman can build up or tear her house apart?
Study Notes: (lumina, Strong’s)
Proverbs 12:4 –
tn Heb “a wife of virtue”; NAB, NLT “a worthy wife.” This noble woman (אֵשֶׁת־חַיִל, ’shet-khayil) is the subject of Prov 31. She is a “virtuous woman” (cf. KJV), a capable woman of noble character. She is contrasted with the woman who is disgraceful (מְבִישָׁה, mÿvishah; “one who causes shame”) or who lowers his standing in the community.
Noble – chayil – strength, might, efficiency, ability, worthy
Shame – buwsh – to put to shame, be ashamed, be disappointed, to be ashamed before one another
sn The metaphor of the “crown” emphasizes that such a wife is a symbol of honor and glory.
sn The simile means that the shameful acts of such a woman will eat away her husband’s strength and influence and destroy his happiness.
sn The verse makes the same point as 21:9 and 25:24; but “desert land” is substituted. It would be a place sparsely settled and quiet.
tn The Hebrew noun כַּעַס (ka’as) means “vexation; anger.” The woman is not only characterized by a quarrelsome spirit, but also anger – she is easily vexed (cf. NAB “vexatious”; NASB “vexing”; ASV, NRSV “fretful”). The translation “easily-provoked” conveys this idea well.
Quarrelsome – Madown strife, contention
Contentious – ka`ac – anger, vexation, provocation, grief
tn Heb “wise ones of women.” The construct phrase חַכְמוֹת נָשִׁים (khakhmot nashim) features a wholistic genitive: “wise women.” The plural functions in a distributive sense: “every wise woman.” The contrast is between wise and foolish women (e.g., Prov 7:10-23; 31:10-31).
Harac – to tear down, break down, overthrow, beat down, break, break through, destroy, pluck down, pull down, throw down, ruined, destroyer, utterly
“Broken Together” – (Casting Crowns) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W7mFMlDFbI
What do you think about when you look at me
I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery
How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night
It’s going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds
Maybe you and I we’re never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together
How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won’t give up the fight