Week Three – Day 2. Tuesday, January 31, 2016.
Read Proverbs 19:26; 20:20 and 23:22. SOAP Proverbs 23:22
PROVERBS 19:26 26 He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.
PROVERBS 20:20 20 If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.
PROVERBS 23:22 22 Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
O – These proverbs ARE NOT for young children – they are for us adults! Here, “son” is typically meant for an adult male (or female). It is our treatment of our parents as we are adults. Our treatment of our parents shows our respect, our inner character, and our obedience to the Lord.
What are the results of NOT respecting or honoring parents? It brings shame and reproach, disappointment, embarrassment, and drives our parents away from us (in shame?). It brings shame on us! When we treat our parents “lightly” or worthlessly – it implies that our own life will “end like a lamp.” In the Old Testament times, children who did this to parents were actually put to death! In any case, it brings separation – of emotions, of distance, of closeness, of family ties. And it is the child that brings that distance on.
How are we told to treat our parents? To “listen” to them. It was interesting to note that in one commentary, it said that this meant to listen (pay attention) to their instructions, but not necessarily obeying them. In other words, hear them out – and carefully make a decision that God leads us to. THAT is for adult children, not CHILDREN!!
A – What does this mean for me, today? As I get older, I appreciate my mother more and more. She has “gotten wiser” – no, I have come to appreciate her wisdom in a greater way. And, as I get older, I see the wisdom more an d more. It is, for me, giving her respect, love, and a greater sense of worth – in everyone’s life.
It is sad to see when parents AREN’T appreciated or acknowledged. There IS wisdom in age, in spiritual maturity, and in a long time relationship with the Lord. When that isn’t recognized, I have seen the disappointment, sadness, and depression in older parents. I don’t want to see that in mine, or in my life as I age.
As a parent of a young adult, and step-parent of four more, I also see the importance of sharing wisdom, and then stepping back. Maybe it is important for them to listen, and take heed, but also important for them to make decisions. We experienced that, this past weekend, as one of our children and their family was involved in a major life decision process. But, it is THEIR decision. I am glad that they asked for wisdom, for prayer, and appreciated such. And – as difficult as it is, we have to step back and allow them to make the decision. But, it was a blessing to see them ask for prayer and input.
SO – there are responsibilities on both sides, to listen and appreciate.
P – Father God, thank You for these passages today – for me to think through and recognize MY responsibilities to my parent, and AS a parent. Help me to be respectful and honoring to my mother – and also open with the relationships with our children. Give us ALL wisdom. Help us to lean on You for our family’s decisions and responsibilities. Thank You for a godly mother, and for children who seek to follow You.
Son – (ben) – son, grandson, male child, young men, son (as builder of the family name) – The more generic “child” does not fit the activities described in this verse and so “son” is retained in the translation. In the ancient world a “son” was more likely than a daughter to behave as stated. Such behavior may reflect the son wanting to take over his father’s lands prematurely.
Shame (buwsh) – to put to shame, be ashamed, be disconcerted, be disappointed
Chase away ((barach) – to flee, run away, chase, drive away, put to flight
Disgrace (chapher) – to be ashamed, to display or demonstrate shame, cause embarrassment, disappointed
curse – The form is the Piel participle of קָלַל (qalal), which means “to be light”; in the Piel stem it means “to take lightly; to treat as worthless; to treat contemptuously; to curse.” Under the Mosaic law such treatment of parents brought a death penalty (Exod 21:17; Lev 20:9; Deut 27:16).
Lamp put out – tn “His lamp” is a figure known as hypocatastasis (an implied comparison) meaning “his life.” Cf. NLT “the lamp of your life”; TEV “your life will end like a lamp.”
sn For the lamp to be extinguished would mean death (e.g., 13:9) and possibly also the removal of posterity (R. N. Whybray, Proverbs [CBC], 115).B
Listen – (shama) – hear, listen to, obey yield to
Despise – (buwz) to despise, hold in contempt, hold as insignificant
Heeding wise parental instruction is hard for some children, but it is necessary for them to become wise. By listening to and obeying his or her parents the child learns to listen to and obey God. Submission to parental authority makes submission to divine authority easier (cf. 2 Tim. 3:1-4). Honoring parents here means listening (paying attention) to their instructions. It does not necessarily mean obeying their instructions.
Honor Your Father and Your Mother – Steve Green – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJYVl7pVL-s
Honor your father and your mother as the LOIRD has commanded you
That your days may be long, that it may be well, with you… with you.